Your kara seems off in places?
There are a lot of lines that go over the scene change to join up that would probably be better off stopping at the scene change... not gonna bother noting them though, as there simply are _too many_

02:48 - Comma's not needed
03:09 - Replace the comma with "so"?
04:26 - Fade this line out
05:50 - Comma not needed
05:57 - "are" -> "is"
09:50 - "forgive" -> "forgiven"
10:18 - "you" -> "your"
10:44 - Comma after someone
10:50 - "you" -> "to"
10:55 - "accept" -> "accepting"
12:06 - Move "wisely" to before "using" -> In this world, wisely using the powers you have will...
14:16 - Fade it
14:50 - "cares"? Do you mean carries? Or however it's spelled?
15:51 - Fade it
15:58 - Fade it
16:05 - "
16:41 - This line is uber awkward. Do something with it.
21:01 - "invoves" -> "involve"
21:37 - "opened" -> "open"